Okay, okay, chemo, I GET IT: you suck!
The rumors about A/C are true--it is a rough ride. On the plus side, I'm only in my first week so I have all the cumulative effects to look forward to (she wrote, sarcastically)!
For fun, I thought I'd review from head to toe what this chemo is doing (and, beware fair reader--there may occasionally be more information than you wish...)
So starting up top:
Obviously I have lost my hair. I'm not cue-ball smooth, I still have random long wispy hairs that make me look weird. The hair loss has extended to a significant loss of eyebrow and lash. I am getting better at drawing in my brows. The eyelash loss is weird, because now when I put eyeliner on it just goops right down into my eyeball if I'm not careful. I have to say, wearing contacts is more challenging.
Nose--hair loss also extends to inside the nostrils. Great for not having to trim nose hair, but not so great when you consider that we all have a naturally occurring post-nasal drip and I have nothing to catch mine. So I have a runny nose and annoying cough most of the time! Awesome!
Mouth--mouth sores and the occasional weird metallic taste. Food taste is dulled as well--not that I can't taste food, I can--it's just not as tasty as I'm used to.
Skin--still enjoying the breakouts from the 'roids, although I think the graduated introduction of the steroids (taking them over the course of 4 days instead of 2) has helped a little bit with that.
Hands--my nail beds have dark bruises in them, and they are very tender. Additionally I have fumbly-fingers and numbness (neuropathy is one of the chemo side effects that can remain permanent--YEAH for ME!). Little things, like being able to type quick and effectively, are slowed down. Which is particularly annoying to me because I like to be able to type fast!
Gastro-intestinal--let's just sum this up by saying things are S-L-O-W in this area. I have to take supplements to keep things rolling, which is not always comfortable. Additionally, in the last 24 hours I have had wicked heartburn.
Feet--also starting to feel the neuropathy a bit, though not anything like the hands.
Overall, I feel like I have 100 pound weights strapped to me most of the time--it's just harder and takes more energy to move. I also have a general cob-webby feeling in my brain that results in my not firing on all cylinders. I don't like that at all. The last two nights I've awakened at 3 am, unable to fall back to sleep until (it seems) moments before my alarm goes off. Yesterday--for the FIRST TIME since this all began--I actually went home early from work just so I could lay in bed. I didn't even really sleep (though I would have liked to--my dozing was interrupted by skateboarders on the street below us...I did not shoot them) but just laying there felt good. I've also been pretty achy for the last couple of days so I'm downing tylenol / advil in an effort to get rid of the aches (which is working, I'm happy to report).
Now, a few "concessions" on my part: first, I'm not drinking enough water. I really need to get better about this. To that end, I ordered up some of that mint water online...I think I'll be more inclined to drink it that way. Second, I have not been exercising (sorry, I'm not getting up even earlier when I'm waking at 3) and I suspect if I could get back on that routine I would feel better. I NEED TO EXERCISE. But I'm so tired. It's tough--keep in mind that I'm still getting up and going to work 5 days a week, getting a 2-year-old ready for "school," bed, baths, etc. so it's not like I just lay around. I'm active, but there's not much left in the tank after that's all done. I did manage to water the yard Monday night, too...but I know Dr. Chui would be giving me a hard time (lucky for me the last several office appointments I've had have been with Nurse Practitioners who do not have the same high exercise standards!)
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE: I'm already 25% done with A/C, and I don't have to deal with it again until next Thursday, the 1st of September. But I'm wondering what the next week has in store for me as regards the side-effects and, even more so, what the next 7 weeks have in store as the chemo accumulates.
One other thing that I have to say about this is I can barely even feel the tumor anymore, which actually is awesome--no sarcasm at all there. This would all be so much harder if it wasn't working on the cancer...
I promise that the next 7 weeks of blog posts will not be this whiny, I'm going to pull out of this funk, I will not let the chemo defeat me! and all that...but today...
CHEMO SUCKS!
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