Happy New Year

Last week I had my last fill of my tissue expanders before my surgery in two weeks.  Before I started getting fills, Dr. Chui had told me that sometimes his patients could barely even lift their arms to shake his hand after a fill...After my first two fills I thought that was really weird.  However, my last two fills were a completely different story--SO SORE.  I now understand what he was talking about.  And it's not that the skin feels stretched, it's the pressure INSIDE the chest cavity that is unbearable.  The expanders press down on your rib cage, which makes me short of breath and makes my back have muscle spasms, too...

BUT: no more fills so even though today, 4 days later, I'm still sore...I'm not going to complain (anymore.  About that).

Some people have asked how the fill even happens--the expander has a metal port in it.  The doctor uses this little magnet to find the port:

 ...and then she "marks" the spot with this:

After that, some betadyne gets swabbed on and then a needle is inserted through the skin into the port.  Thanks to the mastectomy, the skin is very numb so I don't feel the needle going in despite the fact that it's about an inch long.  Here's a picture I found on the internet to demonstrate...I don't know if my expander looks exactly like this or not:

This weekend was very mellow.  I was a little bit misty on New Year's Eve reflecting on what this year ended up being for me.  It started out with a trip to watch the Ducks lose the National Title and it went downhill from there.  On the other hand, O grew another year and is a constant source of joy and amusement, and I have experienced the love and support of friends and family that normally one wouldn't feel.  So even though 75% of 2011 sucked, there were many bright spots during that suck-i-tude.

I know better than to tempt fate by saying it couldn't be worse.  It could be.  A LOT.  I know that.  BUT: it wasn't fun.  And at least 25% of 2012 is going to suck too.

The good news is that I'm still here, the cancer isn't going to kill me today, or tomorrow, or the day after that...(and so on)....and I have a beautiful son and loving husband and friends and family to remind me to keep my chin up and keep on fighting.

I can't WAIT to be done with all of this!

Until then, Happy New Year to you, from us: