In the last 72 hours, the hair loss has gone to an all new level.
Saturday, I had the idea that I could shake out the loose hair before my shower and then not as much would come out during my shower. Wrong. It just pours out with everything I do.
Sleep? Covers my pillows.
Wash? Covers my hands.
Run a comb through it? Have the trash can handy to shake the loose hairs off.
Styling gel? More hair stuck to the gel on my hands than gel stuck to the hair in my head.
Despite this fact, I still look like I have a relatively thick head of hair. It is weird, because I cannot even accurately describe how much hair is coming out of my head. Even now, as I type this, I can feel it accumulating at the base of my neck and it itches.
So: now I'm not so much crying over my hair as I am just TOTALLY ANNOYED BY IT.
I am almost ready to just shave what's left, but vanity is still outweighing annoyance at this point...the question now is what will come first: annoyance or bald spots? Either one will result in a date with the clippers.
The second question, then, is who is going to shave my head? I'm kind of thinking about making it a family affair. O seems to be understanding that Mommy's medicine is making her hair fall out, so I think I might let him help or at least watch (if I think I can keep it together...which right now I think I can...) I want it to seem almost fun or funny to him when it happens. On the other hand, here at work my neighbor has clippers right in his office and we could send out an email to all and probably more than one person would come shave their heads too...(men who already shave their heads, but still...I wouldn't be alone!) Finally, I could go into a salon and have it done professionally...and I'm guessing for free because, really, who is going to charge cancer lady to shave her chemo head?
At any rate, I'm guessing by this time next week I will be bald. It has been 36 hours since that thought made my eyes well with tears so I guess I'm doing better with that!!
We had a great weekend--on Saturday G had meetings all day so I went for a quick run (my legs still hurt!) and then O and I had coffee at Starbucks and went to the Zoo. After that, it was home for a nap and then off to KJ's graduation party. Sunday morning, O wanted to "party with Daddy" so I stayed home to work on my knitting skills. Then after Sunday's nap it was off to E's graduation party. I was glad to make it to both parties, and am happy to report that while I do get tired and have some minor stomach upset I have still been spared major bad side effects (except for the hair).
I got up early this morning to get my exercise in. I'm hoping that's a sustainable thing. I actually prefer working out during the day in the basement here because I turn on the TV and just check out mentally, but vanity is winning again: now that I'm going to be hairless I feel even more compelled to have a healthy layer of makeup on (speaking of which: I think I'm going to have to learn how to paint eyebrows on...a skill I never thought I'd need to acquire!)-if I wear makeup and workout during the day then I have to either re-apply OR wash it off OR suffer more breakouts...so in a lot of ways it's just easier to get the workout over with first thing in the morning. Like I said, I'm not sure it's going to be a sustainable thing, but at least it's during the summer and I'll be able to enjoy sunrises over the city, so I'm going to try!
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