Fun Friday

Last Friday my physical therapy appointment was rescheduled to occur THIS Friday, so I have nothing to report as far as that goes.

It turned out that it worked out perfectly, though, because as you know I have been hating my hair SO MUCH that I reached out to a friend who has super-cute-short hair and got her hairdresser's contact info.  And LUCKY ME: she had a cancellation Friday afternoon so I was able to jet over and cut these stupid chemo curls off.  The hairdresser said that she has had a dozen or so friends / clients have chemo curls over the years but she'd never seen anything quite like mine.  She had some fun poofing them out first, and then she chopped them all off so now I'm rocking a very short pixie cut and I love it.

G, who was hoping I'd grow out my hair, agrees that it looks much better.  My co-worker JC says that the cut has taken "years" off of my appearance.  I'm really happy.

I don't have a good picture of the haircut yet, but I do have a picture of the hair that was cut:

 

Yes, I know

After the hair appointment, I hustled off to OHSU for my first Zoladex injection.  G was not available to provide videographer services on this trip, but perhaps another time.

The first shot I received was a lidocaine shot.  That feels kind of like a bee sting, but I have no doubt it doesn't hurt as much as the injection would....

Then, out came the injection needle.  That thing is large.  BUT thanks to the lidocaine I didn't feel a thing!

Sorry it's blurry, but that's post injection what the needle looks like....

What I, of course, didn't think about but makes total sense is that there is a decent amount of bleeding after this injection.  Within about an hour I'd bled through the first bandage and was replacing it with gauze and another bandage.

And here is what the injection site looked like about 4 hours later:

Hot

And 24 hours later:

Also pretty Hot

ANYWAY, except for some minor site tenderness it really hasn't been that big of a deal.  I don't think I'm experiencing much else in the way of side effects.  YET.

In looking online I saw that there are 1 month and 3 month treatments you can get of Zoladex.  I asked the nurse who said that they do have the 3 month treatments at OHSU, but typically Dr. Chui likes to see how his patients do before transitioning to the higher dosage.  Sounds just like him!  So fingers crossed now that I do, in fact, tolerate the shots well enough to switch to a higher dosage so I only have to do this 4 times a year instead of 12!

Quick Update

Things are still rolling along.

I'm doing well enough on the Tamoxifen that we are going to start the "chemical menopause" in the form of monthly injections of ZOLADEX starting Friday. 

The general concept of this did not trouble me.  Between the fertility stuff I did at the start of my cancer adventures (giving myself up to 3 shots a day in the stomach...), the chemo, the Neulasta shots after chemo, and all the other pokes and blood draws this past year, I feel like I've become pretty accustomed to needles.  So much so, in fact, that I asked Dr. Chui if I could just get the shots and give them to myself at home.  No such luck, and not just because of insurance, but because this isn't just a simple shot!  Oh no, this involves being numbed FIRST (presumably with shots although we didn't get into that) and then the injection of an IMPLANT under my skin.

See A VIDEO HERE if you are interested.  I'm sure it won't be as bad as my imagination is making it out to be, but it's a bit more involved than I thought.  We'll see how I do Friday afternoon at 4:30.  Maybe G can be there to video tape me as I pass out!

The only arguable set back at this point is that I am showing signs of LYMPHEDEMA in my left arm.  So that's a bummer.  I have my first physical therapy appointment on Friday before my first injection.  Presumably I'll learn some stretches and also how to manually drain the lymphatic fluid from my arm.  The worst part about all of this is that, when I first started noticing these twinges G was insistent that I call/email Dr. Chui and I kept saying I had my appointment in June and I'd just see him then.  The first thing Dr. Chui said to me?  "You should have contacted me right away when this started."

Nothing is worse than G being right.

I do try to balance reaching out to Dr. Chui--I don't want to be a pest and email him every time I feel kind of funky.  But I guess I should have contacted him in this case.

G was right.  Just don't tell him that.

Long Time, No Write

So it's been a while.  Mostly I'm writing this post because I don't want people who come to my blog to have the first thing they read be an update about diarrhea.  (Which by the way, we finally figured out: it wasn't c-diff, it wasn't lactation intolerance, it was the study drug....I guess when the label says "TAKE WITH FOOD" you should really...you know...take with food?)

Anyway, lots has happened since my last post.  I turned 40.  O turned 3.  I've met with my radiation oncologist who just checked me out and said I was doing fine.  Got to see my radiation team again, which was nice.  You go from people being a daily part of your life for 6 weeks to nothing...it is weird. 

All in all I'm doing well.  I have stiffness in my left arm which I'm sure is the result of the lymph nodes being removed and scarring from that and the radiation.  I will probably need to go see a physical therapist eventually for that...but I haven't yet because: LIFE.  Life is happening now, people, and I don't want to be bothered with this dumb cancer thing!

This time last year I was contemplating what bald person to be for Halloween.

This year, with my chemo curls, I have some options, too!

Glee's Blaine at the no-hair-gel prom.  If only I could get away with slicking it back like he does on a day-to-day basis.



Napoleon Dynamite.  Just need to find the glasses.

This one is the latest idea: I just need to pull on the top part of my head and I can look like this!!!

 So, yeah, lots of options.  I keep thinking it's getting straighter at the root and am fighting the temptation to go cut all of the curls off but it's getting tougher!  I think I'd like it short if it were straight, but these curls are TOO, TOO much.

That's about it from here.  Tomorrow I meet with Dr. Chui to discuss my progress and, I'm sure, my soon-to-be menopause.  I'll try to write an update in the next few weeks to debrief that.

In the meantime: LIFE!

C-DIFF, or something like it

So, for the past two weeks I've been dealing with mostly on again, but sometimes off again, symptoms that have me concerned that the C-Diff is recurring.  If you don't recall, I had a nice bout of it after my mastectomy in November.

This has not been so bad, but in duration alone I began to get concerned so I finally emailed Dr. Chui (on a Sunday....I'm horrible.....and he wrote me back....because he's wonderful!)

In no particular order, the cause could be:

  * recurring C-Diff
  * some other GI bug
  * a reaction to metformin (which I may or may not be taking in my clinical study)

I confess I'm torn: if it's the C-Diff, it's a quick course of antibiotics and it's gone, which is good.  BUT if it's the metformin it means I'm actually taking metformin, and not a sugar pill...which would be cool to know, since I want to do everything I can to kill the cancer!

However, in order to determine the cause of my distress, I had to pop on in for another fabulous lab test.

And you know what's worse than having to give a stool sample, I learned this morning?

NOT HAVING ONE TO GIVE.  I had to sit in the lab for almost an hour waiting for nature to take its course.  Once again, the lab techs were super-duper-nice, but it's just so humiliating!!!  "Any minute now!" I kept saying, patting my stomach.  Guh.

My "BRAT" diet is obviously helping with the problem so that's good, especially because I am supposed to attend a conference the rest of the week.  The good news is, the conference is local so I will be sleeping in my own bed while I hopefully recover.

And you know me: I took a picture today at the lab--

I say it again: IT'S ALL SO GLAMOROUS!

In other news, I got my hair cut.  I went to a "curl" specialist trained in the Ouidad techniques.  I guess the bummer of that I had failed to consider was that we would CELEBRATE my curls as opposed to eliminate them.  So I still look like an old lady who went to the SuperCuts and asked for the hot-pink-roller perm special....and I still hate it....but I have better products in it.  I really, really, really can't wait for it to grow out.  Even though I'm fairly convinced the grow-out will include a few months of ungodly poof-i-ness, the weight of longer hair will help.  And for most people the curl is temporary anyway so: FINGERS CROSSED.  I don't mind a little wave, but this is RIDICULOUS!

On the plus side, we've had three beautiful days in a row here in Portland (though that's supposed to end tonight) which has lifted my spirits!  Once I get this gastro-intestinal situation under control, I might just start EXERCISING again!

It was One Year Ago Today

Today I was treated to lunch by my fabulous co-workers who spoiled me the WHOLE TIME I was getting treatment...shouldn't I be buying THEM lunch?

And a gift to boot, what wonderful friends I have.

I was reminded that one year ago today, in fact right around this time I think, I was walking into Epic Imaging in Beaverton for my mammogram....which then became an ultrasound.....which then became a biopsy.....and an unofficial diagnosis of breast cancer (along with prescriptions for Lorazepam and Vicodin!)

Poor G had just started his new job and was at Disneyland (formerly the Happiest Place on Earth) for a conference with his new colleagues when he got the news...which at first he did not believe as I texted him from the exam table bawling my eyes out.

I still remember with gratitude the nurse and doctor at Epic Imaging.  Their sympathy, of course, but also their willingness to do all of the procedures that day and the doctor's willingness to give me the news without saying I had to wait 48 hours for the results (when it was so obvious from the scans).  

And friend SH and cousin L who both rallied to help out around the house since I was not allowed to lift O for the first several days and most of my immediate family was out of town. 

Those first few days were among the worst, because I just did not know what was in store.  Other days in the past year have been bad and equally tear-filled, but I will never forget hearing that I had cancer.

As for today, my skin is healing up great and I finally have a hair appointment with a woman who specializes in curly hair.  It's not until the 23rd but when I told the receptionist what I look like these days, she also put me on a wait-list in case there are cancellations between now and then:

"I look like Marcia Clark!!!!!"

(having done a "google images" search for Ms Clark I should have qualified that with "circa 1994"....girl's had a little work done since then...)

I'm sure my entries here in this blog will be less frequent, but I'll try to keep up with it at least once every few weeks even if it's just to say I'm seizing the day!

News from the Oncologist Visit

So, the big question people always ask me is when I'll be "in the clear" with this cancer thing.

The simple answer is: NEVER.

The better answer is: with every year that passes that I am cancer free, the odds increase that I'll stay that way.

The odds are better for me because my tumor is estrogen receptive which means the tamoxifen will help.  HOWEVER, pre-menopausal women, like me, have the worst odds because we're still producing estrogen...

UNLESS....

Dr. Chui puts me in a chemical state of menopause.

Which is what we're going to do, eventually.

Dr. Chui wants me to start the tamoxifen once I'm a bit more recovered from radiation.  (The deal we made is: once I can sleep through the night without waking up from the pain of the burn area, I'll start up on the tamoxifen again.)  Then, he wants me to do the tamoxifen for 4-6 months before I start getting monthly shots to shut down my ovary entirely.

There was a study in Austria where they did this with pre-menopausal women, and with NO chemotherapy, and the survival rates 5-8 years out were in the high 90s percentage-wise.  I like those odds better than without, so early menopause here I come!

All of this is reversible if we decide it is safe enough for me to attempt a pregnancy in a few years.  I'm less and less optimistic about that, but I still haven't given up on the dream completely.  We'll just have to wait and see what happens, I guess...like we are with everything else!

Kind of Cool

Ran across this site the other day, and thought it was kind of neat:

http://thetutuproject.com/

Different people react to this diagnosis differently.  Spouses even more so.  Like some of them run for president and have affairs (so, so disappointed in John Edwards I can hardly think straight!) and then there's this guy with the Tutu Project.  Sweet.

Appointment with Dr. Chui today.  Will post more about that later!